jigsaw puzzle

[mike]

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
Me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
Assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ." he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. .














"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[ady]

I got that puzzle for xmas and their's two peices missing ;D

[mike]

;D

how about.....



A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party.

He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover

your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate.

The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasised his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.

A week passes and he received another parcel..

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit. The long robe

will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes

a really rude letter of complaint.

A few days later, he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:


Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over

your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple!